Your life looks to me as a labyrinth, lots of turns and dead ends. Doesn't have to be like that.
Yes, it is very difficult to know what to do. Sometimes certain people appear in our lives and give lessons that effect us without knowing it. If there was a teacher like that in our minds we would know everything that has to be done, there would be confidence in tomorrow. Maybe you will meet someone who will point you in the right direction. I understand that moving out involves lots of cash and world right now is like a shark swallowing everything. One day we all end up alone, people don't live forever. So you have to prepare yourself. Get married to a good person while you can, start a family and you won't be alone. But before doing this you should throw all this baggage of your back, your depression and fear.
I think you did take antidepressants, right? Same as me, zoloft. Didn't help me at all. I know what fear and anxiety truly is. I'm using L-theanine for suppressing anxiety, I feel more calm and awake with it. Google it if you want, it's a simple drug for stimulating brain. There's also GABA it's for better sleeping. And you can try listening to some healing music^_^
The fear just appears and goes, but try to push it away.