Really frustrated lately, but oddly relieved too.

My wife and I have done a lot to be open to extended family on both sides. We reached out often, we travelled to visit family often, despite illnesses, sick kids, extensive work commitments. We did it because we saw it as important to be present, to reach out to family and old friends, and because we wanted connections with family and people from our childhoods, and wanted the same for our kids.

Now, 15 years later.... We have given up. The efforts really, really weren't reciprocated. We were told "you and your kids are a priority to us", yet no one came to us. We only saw family on holidays if we went there. No matter what was going on with us the responsibility for relationships was on us.

We said this, we pointed it out, we told people things were really one sided, we said we need some emotional support in our home, while CONTINUING to reach out for two years.

Then we just stopped talking about it, and we stopped trying. And we let it all go.

I hate that this is my truth. It's not the life I wanted to have, but it is what was dealt to us. I wanted a house filled with extended family and old friends. I feel so isolated, but I also feel free. I feel like all these years of longing for connections and relationships was wasted, but I'm actually happier and more relaxed now that we recognized things for what they are and stopped trying.

My home is really cool. I like my town. I like the water and the river, I like my job. My kids are funny and interesting, and they're good kids. I don't know why others that SHOULD want to be a part of this in my life don't see this stuff or want to take part.

RDM