After some serious scolding as well as some love, I am here to apologize for my last post. That said, if you have never danced with the monster yourself a few times, it is hard to understand or imagine the cataclysmic lack of options that descends.

But somehow, I made it. I asked for help. I am here. That is about as far as I can get myself right now. It is a recurrent problem. My loving pdoc was very informative. He termed it an episode of acute and catastrophic demoralization. I think that is probably pretty accurate.

Gonna keep trying. I love you guys so much. So sorry for triggering and scaring people. But if you have been there, you know. When it is real, it is really, super freaking real.