I`m struggling at the moment. It`s with the depression and irritability. I haven`t been on my Rexulti for a while now and I don`t think I`d go back on it now because If I went back on it and was denied it again the withdrawal effects were very unpleasant and I don`t wish to go through that again. The last time I talked to my pdoc he prescribed a new med for my depression but I had to stop taking it due to the side effects. I think my doc may be running out of ideas because it seems like I`ve tried everything under the sun and it hasn`t made much difference. I`ve also tried therapy and I really don`t think that helped. I just feel so frustrated and I have no motivation and I feel like this illness is a never ending cycle. I know bipolar disorder is a life long thing and as a therapist once told me I`d have to be on meds for life and that really depressed me. I just feel so tired.