No need to apologize or to feel guilty about it as we can't really control that much our memories and how they affect us so your feelings are ABSOLUTELY valid! Are you currently seeing a therapist or any other professional whom may be able to Help you sort through these memories? It may prove useful to write it down every time you experience it so that you may be able to understand in what kind of situations specifically these flashbacks occur and perhaps even remind yourself that these are only memories. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @BirdieChaser, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!