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jeremiahgirl
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Member Since: Mar 2007
Location: In the South
Posts: 812
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Default Feb 20, 2021 at 07:04 PM
 
Becoming:

Hi I can relate to that feeling, I’m not presently feeling that way but I have in the past. And yes it was very unsettling actually so much that I would bring up painful things to distract from the calm [emoji848]. I think one should sit with the Ok feeling and ask “why does this feel so wrong or perhaps a better word is odd?” Could it be it’s so foreign one has to grow into it? Sorta like moving into a new home or community? It takes time to adjust to newness.

I struggle with the feeling “when is the shoe [emoji149] going to drop?” Feeling something is on the verge of happening; like looking for drama. It feels like a shadow of sorts lurking in my mind. I’m not sure if this is an avoidance of calm or what it is. But I certainly can identify with your question.

People with BPD struggle with non defensiveness. I’ve always been on the defense because of my upbringing so it’s hard to accept calm and peace. It will be interesting to see if others relate to your experience.
Take Care [emoji3]

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Thanks for this!
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