It sounds aggravating. I am sorry you are dealing with it. They sound a bit like my husband’s family. His parents aren’t with us anymore but the rest of the family are quite dismissive of my husband.

Are you and your wife are a bit different from them? We differ from his family a lot. When I came to the picture they made some positive changes mostly because they are embarrassed to be that dismissive in front of me and they like me but still don’t ever make us a priority. (At least they have relationship with me, they had none with my husband’s first wife.).

My sister in law prefers distant cousins to her brother. Growing up she was embarrassed of her brother (he has Tourette’s so it could be embarrassing for people with low tolerance and narrow mind, and he is nerdy and dorky, lol they are very mainstream and can’t relate to this. They value machismo in men, which my husband is the opposite of that. They like to party and are somewhat vulgar and we aren’t like this at all. But we are the type to go with the flow, we join in. Still we don’t exactly fit. And they play favorites. They like one of my stepdaughters and openly dismiss the other. So bizarre. My husband is hurt by it. We just have to accept that it is what it is. My husband prefers my family now. They aren’t dismissive but as every family they could be a bit weird too. My sister in law (brothers wife) can be strange too

I totally understand how it hurts you. At least we don’t have young kids or kids together. I’d be devastated if my family dismissed my daughter.

I’d say when you have grandkids, you’d not be dismissive of your children and grandchildren because you have this negative experience. You’d not repeat the cycle. You’ll be different

Hang in there