This may trigger........


I am 43 years old and my parents divorced when I was 18. They stayed together because they didn't want me to come from a 'broken home'. My dad suffered all the affairs my mother had, he must have loved her anawful lot, she had many affairs, the last one who was a pdc abused me from the age of 8-15/16.... she left my dad when i was 3, she should have stayed away and left me with dad. But she went back to him, tried to commit suicide and left me with lots of mental scars.

Living with 2 parents who are continually disagreeing, obviously not in love and blaming the child for a lot of it certainly didn't do me any favours. To me the divorce was a relief apart from the fact my other moved away to be with my abusers best friend and my dad married quickly after and had 2 young kids to look after so i felt totally abandoned. I should have been able to cope being as i was 18 but i had social phobia and turned to alcohol for a while. Sorry i'm going off topic and ranting a bit.

i don'think it's easy for anyone seeing the people who gave birth to them fight and have affairs etc ..... i often wonder what it would have been like just to stay with my dad from 3 onwards and never have to putup with the rest of the crap. We recently broke contact altogether (mother and I)as she is in denial and then told me she very nearly smothered me when i was a baby ..... enough is enough .... she's out of my life for good now and I am healing for the first time i think.

But that was then and i'm a survivor, things are looking up and i'm happier now than i probably have ever been. i have a hubby and 2 fantastic teens, there is light at the end of the tunnel .....

Jinny xxxxx