I'll try to answer everyone if I can. Mine is not an abusive relationship. I'm well schooled as part of my training in such matters having taken many classes and seminars over a couple of decades on how to identify and stop or prevent it. I'm perfectly safe.

The issue is that I have CPTSD (sometimes I'm the abuser when I dissociate) and you just can't blindside me like that and tell me I did something wrong when I know I didn't. It will cause an episode every time. He doesn't always know this, though. That's what I wish he understood. Don't tell me that I don't communicate unless you're willing to understand the reasons behind my fear.