Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterPaul
We go on a date - you and me. We get to know each other. Let's say you're having fun and you're happy with the way it goes down. And then I say something stupid or I tell a poor story - it's fine, it happens. We move on and we're back at where we were - good vibes are in the air. The date ends and it was a good date.
I will go back to these two little moments - when I said something stupid or told a poor story. I'll investigate why I screwed up, I'm going to find a reason and watch out the next time. It's important. Because I know how to tell great stories and I hate talking stupid. You may not even notice my mistake - I don't care. I'll fix it either way. That's not narcissism.
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When you're getting to know someone, you're getting to know their stupid stories, their lame jokes, their history, their likes and dislikes. I get that you're not looking for an actual relationship, but someday, if you do decide you want an actual relationship, you'll have to be real with that person. That means go on ahead and tell the lame joke if you think it's funny. Maybe she'll think it's funny too. Or you can both laugh about how lame it is. It's those moments that build a relationship.
Also - understand that something you say to one woman that falls flat may not be a 'mistake' - women are individuals. Some of them will think you said something cool and funny while others will think you're a moron and look for the exit.
If your focus is on being perfect, and being the best, and so on, it almost looks like you're using each date as someone to practice on. Which could, theoretically, make you very smooth and good at dating/picking women up/getting them into bed/thrilling them with your awesomeness/moving on.... but understand this: Many women who are picked up by Mr Smooth who is absolutely perfect in every way, who wants to hang out and have a good time, aren't thinking, "Boy I can't wait till this guy dumps me for the next challenge!" They're thinking, "Oh I hope he's serious!"
Have you discussed dating with your therapist? Sorry if that's already been asked. I have known people with NPD and don't think they're evil or anything, I just want to draw your attention to the pain you can inadvertently cause others by practicing on them. Your therapist would probably be better at that than me.
