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Old Feb 21, 2021, 08:47 PM
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wildflowerchild25 wildflowerchild25 is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2013
Location: NJ
Posts: 6,434
Quote:
Originally Posted by BethRags View Post


I feel honored that you would share so much of your life with us.

I want to point out some things, thoughts I have.

Do you know how many children are conceived for "selfish" reasons? Many. Maybe even most.

And there are plenty of kids who grow up with a parent who is mentally and/or physically ill. I did, in fact. But my mom's mental illness caused her to be horribly abusive at times. Your son has not had to experience that with you, which is outstanding!

It's obvious to me that you deeply love your son. Isn't that correct? Keep in mind that he's at an age when, well...kids can be really hurtful and challenging at his age.

wfc, has your son been in therapy? If he has, did it help? If not, is that a possibility?
I really appreciate your response. It makes me feel a little better. I know I am not abusive but I am neglectful and that’s how my mom was with me and my brother. It profoundly damaged us. My brother was a drug addict for years and though he doesn’t use any drugs anymore, still is an alcoholic, though he’s now in therapy and trying to cut down. Me, well...I’m me.

My son was in therapy twice, once when he was very young (about six) and for a few sessions in the beginning of the school year. He didn’t really see it as a chance to share feelings, just a place to chat with a new friend. His therapist said he didn’t really need it.

I may be catastrophizing in my mind given all the mental stress I’ve been under. My son was sour this morning when he realized I meant business about no electronics or Amazon tv at all today, but I did let him go to his computer coding lessons so he was happier after that. And he didn’t throw a fit when I told him no more extensions on his iPad time or use of his school computer when he gets home. No youtube on the tv either (which is unfortunately part of our cable package so I can’t exactly get rid of it). But he can have the Amazon tv back.

I’m thinking about getting family therapy though for me and him. I just have no idea what I’m doing, I mean what mom does, and I have no yardstick by which to judge whether his behavior is expected at his age or what I should do to respond to it. The place my pdoc is located at does family therapy but they are only virtual right now which I don’t think would be helpful. Maybe in the summer when he is at camp and I am at home all day so I’m not too exhausted to focus on it. Hopefully things will be more open by then.
__________________
Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?
-Albus Dumbledore

That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it
f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have.
-Garden State
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, buddha1too, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, Soupe du jour