I really appreciate your response. It makes me feel a little better. I know I am not abusive but I am neglectful and that’s how my mom was with me and my brother. It profoundly damaged us. My brother was a drug addict for years and though he doesn’t use any drugs anymore, still is an alcoholic, though he’s now in therapy and trying to cut down. Me, well...I’m me.

My son was in therapy twice, once when he was very young (about six) and for a few sessions in the beginning of the school year. He didn’t really see it as a chance to share feelings, just a place to chat with a new friend. His therapist said he didn’t really need it.

I may be catastrophizing in my mind given all the mental stress I’ve been under. My son was sour this morning when he realized I meant business about no electronics or Amazon tv at all today, but I did let him go to his computer coding lessons so he was happier after that. And he didn’t throw a fit when I told him no more extensions on his iPad time or use of his school computer when he gets home. No youtube on the tv either (which is unfortunately part of our cable package so I can’t exactly get rid of it). But he can have the Amazon tv back.

I’m thinking about getting family therapy though for me and him. I just have no idea what I’m doing, I mean what mom does, and I have no yardstick by which to judge whether his behavior is expected at his age or what I should do to respond to it. The place my pdoc is located at does family therapy but they are only virtual right now which I don’t think would be helpful. Maybe in the summer when he is at camp and I am at home all day so I’m not too exhausted to focus on it. Hopefully things will be more open by then.