Quote:
Originally Posted by buddha1too
My partner & I have been together 18 years. We were both married before, so we know what unhealthy relationships are like. I think it's important to set ground rules for communication & to realize the consequences of opening our mouths when angry; some words or tones can't & shouldn't be used or excused. Dropping "F-bombs," or raising one's voice unnecessarily can have lingering consequences. There's no excuse for the type of reaction you described, Werewoman. I hope he doesn't treat you like that on a regular basis.
That stated, neither my partner nor I would ever make a major purchase without consulting each other. For us, it's just a matter of mutual respect. Others have pointed this out quite well already, so I won't beat a dead horse.
While I understand you feel scarred by his angry attacks, I hope you are able to work things out. Good luck.
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No there's no excuse. My MI frustrates him. Sometimes a little too much. I try to be patient because I know how hard I am to live with and I'd give anything not to be sick. I don't like not being able to control my emotions, and sadly, I have taken it out on him a few times, not realizing it until I 'come out of it'. I'm not saying it makes the way he acts sometimes okay. It just explains it.
The truck purchase was discussed and agreed upon weeks ago. We agreed when the money came in, I would buy the truck if it was still there and it was. I didn't tell him the money came. That's my crime. I didn't think it mattered since it was back payments for disability owed to me. I don't tell him every time my monthly check comes, so why would I think it necessary to tell him I received the back payments? To me, it's all one and the same. I guess he doesn't see it that way. From his perspective, I 'failed to communicate' when I didn't tell him about receiving the money.