I also have been in abusive relationships. The current guy I'm seeing now is no looker either. He is short but in great shape. I can attract better looking men but truthfully looks are not everything. I am also not too attracted to his looks but to his personality. I like him but when I see other good-looking men my heart skips a beat. But, with him I can be myself. I also have not told him about my illness and probably won't for awhile because we are not serious yet and even if we were, I don't think it is his business. So, nothing is ideal. If you like him and care for him why don't you try helping him to lose weight through encouragement and support. You say you're also overweight so may be you can lose weight together and support each other. If you like someone, you should be helpful. But, that is just my way of doing things.