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My MI frustrates him. Sometimes a little too much. I try to be patient because I know how hard I am to live with and I'd give anything not to be sick. I don't like not being able to control my emotions, and sadly, I have taken it out on him a few times, not realizing it until I 'come out of it'. I'm not saying it makes the way he acts sometimes okay. It just explains it.
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It's good that you are recognizing this @
Werewoman. I have a feeling you may trigger each other and you both end up frustrated. A trigger can help uncover "the Thing" though where that very sensitive injury you have personally reacts and creates an episode. I know for myself, when I experience a bad trigger it can literally cripple me for a few days depending on what the trigger is. That can be hard for a spouse to live with even though the sufferer believes "if only he would JUST, doesn't he get it?".
I believe you got that check and wanted to get that truck you really wanted and you wanted to get it yourself and bring it home. You wanted to embrace feeling empowered, being able to get something for yourself. You wanted others to respect that and be happy for you too. But, you got what you felt was a negative reaction and it ruined the experience you so wanted to have that was a positive for you that helped you feel empowered. That experience you wanted got ruined and triggered you to the point where you crashed and did not want to have anything to do with it. It isn't the truck either, it's still a nice truck and something you wanted that represented a big positive. It's the "hurt/bad feeling" you experienced that caused the shut down.
Does that help describe "the Thing"?