Sidony - look how well you write! I write similar to that, sometimes, but can't ever talk like that either. I'd say you have to have a "runway" to lay out your thougths without stress or pressure that a group can give. The internet is great in that we can communicate like we want to without all the decorations of in-person conversation. More like a soul-to-soul conversation rather than person-to-person.

I get the same stress to talk when talking with my wife or mom. It started when I was young. Only child, grew up with my mom. She was a talker. Lots of words. Not much listening. She would talk and talk and when she stopped, I'd try to say something but she'd continue. Wife and her family are somewhat similar. Mom really didn't "hear me" but rather wanted me to hear her, learn from her words, etc. She talked about the same stuff all the time (stuff that she liked). She couldn't understand things me, as a kid, was into. It was "fluff". Why spend your time on that - when you could be doing better in school. Stuff like that. That helped me build a shy wall around me. I hated that I couldn't start conversations with people - but could be "brought into" conversations and after warming up, give some feedback. You know, the quiet one in the group who didn't want attention. Wife wants me to talk more - and the stress of knowing someone wants you to do something (on demand?) - that's added stress too.

I really have to get over it. My wife and I (14 years last week) aren't getting on very well now. It's mainly about communication. She wants me to converse, talk, lead, etc. I really get stuck and that stinks. Great with my kids but really hurting to get over my "talker's block" with some people. Heck - I even have trouble calling friends to just talk. I rarely do it. I think I feel like my words aren't worth as much as theirs. Gave away my power, I guess.

Maybe when you're in group, you could say "I have a topic, but I need to go at my own pace, give me a moment to work through my thoughts." Asking for space may be a way to clear the road ahead for opening up. That's what I'm going to do with my wife to try to get through some things we recently went through.