I really thought I was going to completely break down on my way home from work. I had a bad mental health day in the first place but during the last ten minutes my son texted me asking for more time on his game. I told him no and then he went into his whole usual argument of “but why” “for how long” etc etc complete with rows of sad and angry emoji faces. I told him I’m about to leave work and I’m not gonna argue about it and furthermore I’m not gonna argue about it at home either. He stopped bc he knew I’d be driving and unresponsive anyway. I was so upset and anxious that he was going to start up the argument again when I picked him up that I just couldn’t take it. I knew if he did I would snap. I wouldn’t have screamed at him or anything but I probably would have locked myself in the bathroom (the only door in this place with a lock) and just sat there for however long it took for him to stop pestering me and go away. Because even when I ignore him he continues to be intrusive. He refuses to leave the room, continues bothering me to say something. And if I tell him I’m not going to talk to him right now he gets on top of me and pokes my nose or puts his hands on my face or basically just lays there and whines and continues on his tirade. He WILL NOT accept me saying I need space. When we move RS is going to install a lock on our bedroom door so I will be able to at least get physically away.

I’m of the opinion that family therapy is definitely needed. I just need to have someone help me get across to him that his behavior in certain situations is unacceptable. I also need him to understand that even if I leave the room and ignore him for awhile it’s only to keep myself calm and I will definitely come back out later. It’s just...I can’t keep on like this, not with everything else that’s going on in my head.

Thankfully he did not continue arguing when I picked him up. He complained a little about just having tv and I gave him back the Amazon remote so he could watch the show we’ve been watching instead of endless spongebob and loud house episodes. He’s chill now. I’ve been in my room collecting my thoughts. I’m about to go out and get some dinner. Real easy, eggs and hash browns. I couldn’t bear the thought of making something involving multiple steps.