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RoxanneToto
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Member Since: Aug 2020
Location: England
Posts: 1,692
3 yr Member
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Default Feb 23, 2021 at 03:56 AM
 
I’m so sorry you’re going through this (and her, truly! Her situation sounds terrible). It’s tricky! It’s obviously not easy leaving an abuser, but at the same time, you can’t rescue her, especially when she’s not ready or willing to go.
I think if you do want to support her, you need to step back from your feelings and what you want with her. Support her to find her own way out, as a friend or relative might, rather than as a potential partner. Ask her what she intends to do about it if she tells you how he’s treating her/her children. She likely won’t be in a good mental place to have a relationship if/when she does leave, in any case. Even if she just didn’t like him, if she “monkey branched” from him to you, it’s still a shaky foundation for a relationship.
I know none of this is easy, it’s complicated and you need to look after yourself too. You don’t know what this other man is capable of. Ideally she should leave him, and start healing herself before getting with anyone else.
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Thanks for this!
Bill3