After over a year of trying to get adequate treatment for severe depression, I'm still exactly nowhere. At this point I regret ever trying to get "help." I think being naive and not realizing the full extent of what is wrong with me was better than knowing I won't get better on my own, and still being unable to get the treatment I need. I've reached out to a new hospital, so in theory it could still get better, but I don't believe it. I don't trust Pdocs anymore. I just know that all they're going to do is string me along for months again until it becomes clear that they're not going to help me, either.

Right now I'm back to where I began, trying to do my normal activities while pretending the depression doesn't exist. It doesn't work, there's just no way I can function at a sufficient level, but I can't think of anything else. I'm just about ready to give up, I'm so sick and tired of it. It's so disheartening, because I'm the kind of person who never asks for help, ever. And now I finally did, and it was just a huge mistake.