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wolftrap
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Member Since: Oct 2020
Location: VA
Posts: 309
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Default Feb 23, 2021 at 08:00 PM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by whatever2013 View Post
"It's not the years in your life, it's the life in your years." Albert Einstein.

This quote weighs on me because i take meds to stay calm and in touch with reality but they squash my creativity. What's the use of living a long life if it's dull? My favorite author David Foster Wallace died of depression in his forties but not after he had gifted the world many works of art. So what is the measure of success? Living a short but productive life or living a long but mundane life? We seem to value survival at all costs. But what's the use of surviving if all you do is tolerate life? Better to have a passionate short life than a long passive one.
@whatever2013 this is a question I've grappled with regarding my painting. In college I was euphoric/manic and it allowed my artistic ideas to come easily and often - I made connections and art that I never could have without BP. For an anxiety-oriented reason I didn't pursue art school and put myself into the orderly drudgery of banking. Every day I mourned my decision. So skip ahead to being medicated at 40 years, I'm now 54. Over that time period i've tried to paint twice, for more than two years each time. It hasn't worked - no ideas, not knowing what the heck to do, choosing mediums that didn't work for me. I was desperate to get back to where I was in college, to feel that feeling, and it wasn't happening being medicated. Last year a friend was worried and suggested that I paint again. I got a studio and gave it another try. Suddenly, everything was clicking. Ideas came and I have been able to develop them into work that feels right. I'm not euphoric like I was in college, it's not as exciting, but it's steady and productive. But if it hadn't worked this time, I would probably have seriously considered going off of my meds for exactly the reason you bring up.
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