I hope you don't mind my response... I would (and my T would) say it's because you want both. A part of you wants to meet and a different part doesn't. They are both valid. It's how you get them to work together to make decisions that is more important. How do you get to honoring both of them and both of their wants. Why does the one that wants to meet... want to meet; what does it want, what is it hoping for, what is it missing, how would it feel if you waited to meet, can you comfort it for not getting what it wanted? And the one that doesn't want to meet - why doesn't it want to see your T, what would it mean to it if you did see your T, is it running from something or would rather spend your time in something of more value to it? How could it find other time to do the other things if you were to meet? Things like that.