translate my need to have control to controlling myself instead of wanting to always control other people's thoughts/reactions to me - specifically to eating better and exercising so I can lose back this weight I've gained since having abdominal surgery in 2019. I mean hell, I feel abysmal in my body at this weight, I'm just asking for diabetes and heart problems at my age if I don't get this under control. I'm honestly surprised that I'm not all up in my head all the time again.