Ruby, it sounds like you have a really good understanding of what happened. This is so important. I still have a hard time accepting this kind of evil exists in the world, especially when it’s your own mother. I’m in a very similar place right now and finding it really hard to cope on a day to day basis.

One thing I’ve noticed as I continue to research this and struggle with the way my mom so cruelly discarded me is that there are a LOT of people who have experienced covert narcissistic abuse. I’m not sure why, but so much of the music I’ve been listening to (and liked before I was even consciously aware of what was going on) seems to focus directly on this topic. Sometime I find listening to it empowering, other times it just makes me cry. (But it still feels good to help me work through some of the pain.) I’ve also read the number of malignant narcissists is growing especially in western societies. 😧

I hope you have a strong support network and/or a trustworthy therapist. I’ve found being raised by a covert narcissist can unconsciously prime you to have others in your life. I know this has happened for me. I used to trust people so easily and now I’m finally seeing the error in this. It still hurts so incredibly much. Right now, I’m trying to deal with everything on my own and not so successfully. I wish you all the best and I’m really glad you shared your story here. We will somehow be stronger for this in the long run.