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Originally Posted by Bipolarchic14
It’s embarrassing. I can’t even admit the degree of my angry and how violent I feel inside. I feel trapped by it. I also had a horrible session with my therapist today Which left me feeling even worse. She was close to 15 minutes late and ended session on time. Did not even give me a good explanation. Then I found out her viewpoints politically are far different. Then she told me to call her if I need to and said that she thinks I’m having a bad time. She supposed to be teaching me not to have to go to her. I’m so angry with everything in the world and I’m tired of being paranoid about everything. I just hate everyone and everything so much right now.
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Being short changed by a doctor or therapist would have angered me, too, if I was in need to really talk. If she does that again, you might consider mentioning it as not being a one-off.
It's not my norm, but I have had such bouts of inner fury throughout my life. It's all been mostly in my head. Daydreams of violence or homicidal ideations that would never become reality. Though at times the fury would show on my face or I'd even grunt/roar or swing my arms, violently. I never struck any person or animal, but have struck myself or punched or threw things. My husband talks to his therapist about such thoughts, too. I do not believe it is uncommon. How many times have people here wished they could ram a car in front of them? More than you think!
My anger has mostly exploded from my mouth, throughout my life, not my body. That can also create great harm.