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RDMercer
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RDMercer has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2013
Posts: 719
10 yr Member
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PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 25, 2021 at 09:19 AM
 
Are you up for a man to man talk?

Take this for what it is. This is a man showing care and support to another man. This is real stuff, similar to what I'd tell my son in a similar situation.

No one can make your choices. You have to make them, and you have to live with them.

Boundaries are a good thing with all relationships. Boundaries create value. Put up some boundaries and create value in yourself. I'd suggest you yell her you're out until her decisions are made. (Un)fortunately for you, you will most likely find out you won't be her first choice.

Never be someone's back up or second choice. It will devalue you for the rest of your life.

It is never a good idea to get involved with someone to "help" them or "fix" them. That will lead to a codependent situation that is never healthy. Or, they may be just fine with who and how they are. Your version of "right" may not apply.

If there is drama and history in her life with this person, that will remain in the future. If you choose to have this in your life this will effect you, and other people around you. If she has kids with this person, then he is around Long term, and your relationships with her and her kids will be effected.

If you choose to draw a line and walk away, immediately begin investing in yourself with positive actions of self care; invest time in things, past times and people that make you happy or improve you as a person. Exercise, learn a language, contact new and old friends, ANYTHING to fill your mind with positive things and occupy your thoughts instead of her. Your value as a person will increase.

Your choices dude. I wish you the best, sincerely.

RDM
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Thanks for this!
Bill3