I hear what you are saying Werewoman... but even then, that does not give him licence to treat you like crap. There is no respect, nor care, in his communication towards you i.e. his spouse. This is what I am having issues with.

Shouting, belittling, hurting someone you supposedly love is unacceptable.

He is accusing you of not communicating with him. Does he not see that his way of communicating with you is pretty appalling?