Hello Seethings: I see this is your first post here on My Support Forums. Welcome. I hope you find being here on MSF to be of benefit.

I can relate to your post. I'm 72 now. My parents are long-since dead. And, way back when I was young (at least where I lived), there were boys and there were girls (and they grew up to marry each other... only.) And if you didn't happen to fit neatly into one of those categories, you darned well kept it to yourself if you knew what was good for you.

I was, I now realize, transgender. (Plus I was ABDL. But, then, that's another story.) However way back then, I didn't even realize there was such a thing as being transgender. I only knew how I felt and what I had to do. Plus I had neither the words, nor the chutzpah, to tell my parents what I was feeling... let alone what I was doing when they weren't around. Plus they had very definite (as well as narrow) ideas regarding what boys should do and how they should grow up. (The lesson stuck.)

So, looking back, I can see where I experienced what we now know as CEN. Back when "My Support Forums" was still "Psych Central" (before PC was sold to Healthline) there was a CEN questionnaire (developed by Dr. Jonice Webb) in PC's archives. It consisted of 23 (as I recall) CEN-related questions. I recall I read through the questionnaire and was able to honestly answer yes to every question. It's too late to do anything about any of it now. But even at my advanced age, I still carry the scars that were instilled all those years ago. I hope you on the other hand have had, or will have, the opportunity work through the scars you carry. Best wishes...