I'm 40 years old and I haven't managed to do anything with my life. I did manage to get a university degree and I also studied several other university courses which I completed. But after that, after 30, I haven't managed to do anything out of my life.

I've never had a relationship, I've never dated, I've had a few acquaintances but I don't meet with them any longer. I don't work and never did except during some shorter periods in my 20s and 30s. I know I've been depressed for years but not as early as when I was 30.

I'm not looking for ideas like joining a club or looking for mental health care elsewhere. I'm more interested in how I ended up like this. I don't have any neuropsychiatric conditions and not everything has been up to me either.

I just wonder how it all went so very wrong. Now I think about suicide several times a month and I don't see a path to anything really, but misery. It's not a matter of attitude or "seeing things differently" as I'm so totally behind everyone else and what they have been able to do in their lives.

I easily get hurt by other people and I can't handle the rather harsh work climate. I cry and I don't have the strength nor will to push through all obstacles. There's no help, I've been trying to find help for years but noone can help me.