I called once at a time I was so broken down I should have been at the ER.

The guy sounded like he was reading: "List of questions to ask. Ask them without any inflection whatsoever. Ask them in this order; do not deviate and do not ad-lib."

Yeah, that's what I was needing.

I told him he was absolutely no help at all.

Probably has his cognitive/behavioral therapy practice going by now.