Dear Lostpossum,

I read what you wrote and the whole thing is so heartbreaking, and so heartbreaking in many ways.

Wish I knew what to say that would help but I have never been very good at relationships and have in a sense given up trying to understand why people do the things they do.

People are so mysterious and that is a wonderful thing when things are going well, but when things are going badly, the mystery can be such a heavy burden, an agonizing, perplexing and oppressive burden. For this reason, I am really the last person to offer relationship advice.

I think a traumatic brain injury can sometimes cause lasting pathology in the brain. I also think it can affect or change a person's personality in profound ways. But I am not a doctor or medical professional so I don't really know if this is true and certain.

When I was a young boy I suffered a traumatic brain injury due to a bicycle accident. People have told me that after that I began to change in subtle and not so subtle ways and seemed to become a different person. Not sure this is so but that is what people close to me have told me.

I think brain pathology can affect the decision making process. People's choices and reasoning often surprise and shock me and I am not exempt from being totally mystified by my own behavior at times. I would think that brain pathology, if it exists in a person, would make this situation even more strange.

Wish I could be more helpful to you. My command of the English language is not very strong and so I have probably expressed myself quite poorly. I do hope things somehow improve for you and in many, many ways. My heart goes out to you!

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen

PS...Hopefully others here will have something more helpful to say to you than I have. I can't even imagine the pain you are going through. It must be unimaginable.