I don't remember it either, Kit, but I'm pretty sure it's there from a couple facts I can't otherwise explain.

Though the difference is I came to that conclusion on my own long ago and only recently told Info (actually she's the only person I've ever mentioned it to--she agreed with me it sounded like there was something there). It isn't so much the memory that's important as the consequences. And while there are other reasons for your reaction to a pap smear, any kind of SA would be a big one. (I get them, because sexually active, and I can deal with the physical discomfort, but invariably I weep during and after.)

And you don't have to deal with it, but if you want, you might look at your life and think about other ways CSA might have affected it. What triggered your mental illnesses? They started young, no? How do you feel about sex? Etc.