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I really feel for you. I can well understand the difficulty you've had with such a personal medical test. I've had them routinely but, being a CSA survivor, I always dissociate...just leave my body. I know that for the day I will be checked out of my body, so I have to be extra careful with driving and such.
I understand what your T was saying BUT I strongly believe that her comment was entirely unnecessary, and mean.
As for CSA, I don't have any great answer. I know people who were not victims, yet still have a really difficult time with paps. And I know women who are survivors and absolutely panic at the thought of having a pap.
My thought has always been that my abuser took so much of my mental health from me, I'll be darned if I'll allow him to steal away my physical health, too.
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