My Support Forums - View Single Post - T brought up something in session that I am not sure how to deal with

corbie · Mar 01, 2021, 06:20 PM

Sometimes CSA is done by other children. That doesn't make it any less traumatic. Regardless of what you agreed to or not, the fact that you became physically sick tellms me that it was quite traumatic to you.

Possible trigger:

My own CSA experience was from the age of 8 maybe 9? It was a random bloke and ... in hindsight he really knew what to say to gain my trust, and I didn't even dislike it at first ... it was weird, but ... I kind of believed him that it's ok (don't want to go into details much), it was just touching private parts a bit, then kissing, and that was when it got disgusting, and he wouldn't stop, and that was when I got scared, then more touching my private parts but that was all as far as I can remember.

Even the thought of kissing disgusts me ever since and I've never been examined except as part of being tested for STI (maybe I should have expected but it caught me off guard) after a rape much later. It didn't cause the universe to collapse, but I still wouldn't willingly subject myself to it under normal circumstances.