T complemented me on my jewelry today. "I love it when you wear those necklaces," he said. I told him what country they were from and then produced a card from my wallet and handed it to him to read about the necklaces, which are produced in developing nations by women struggling to make ends meet, and sold by a U.S. non-profit via volunteers like me. (I hand the cards out to anyone who comments on the jewelry.) T was really interested and then told me that his wife is very interested in things like this, and he was going to give her the card. I felt all warm and fuzzy about that. T likes something of mine well enough to share with someone he loves.

It was a good talk today. I am feeling strong. Even though I found out last week I will almost certainly lose my job in 2009, I was feeling OK. I told him how this made me even more determined to get through the divorce, so I can then focus on my career and jobhunt, which will be a major undertaking. I told him it is just too much for me to do the divorce, sell the house, and find a job all at once. So I need to finish some of this stuff off so I can get to the other.

As we were talking about the divorce process (favorite topic), I stumbled upon something that had made me very angry. Who knew? Something T had been involved with. I told T how it was for me when I found out what had happened. As I told him, I started crying a little, you know, tears of pain and anger. I told him I needed him and my L to protect me in those situations, and they hadn't. Ouch. GRRRR. He didn't tell me he wouldn't do it again, but he did say he was sorry I had been so hurt and that he understood why. What I really like about him is that when I am angry at him, he doesn't get defensive. He listens to what I have to say and responds. No anger in return. Just an open desire to understand. I'm making it sound like this was a big part of the session, but really, the whole interchange only took a couple of minutes, then on we went to something else. I find it amazing I could express my hurt and anger, we could deal with it, and then move on, just as if this is as common an occurrence as the sun rising. It was as if I do this all the time and it is easy and normal. This is sunny? Does it take a year and a half of bonding with someone and developing trust to be able to easily tell them you are hurt and angry? I don't know, but I am happy to have this, at least for a short while, with one person in my life.

Nice hug at the end. This relationship feels so easy and comfortable.