First off, I'm sorry you're going through this emotionally. Divorce is a tough road. Hang in there. Be kind to yourself.

I hate to raise the issue, but from a practical standpoint, perhaps it's time to get hard-headed. If he's running up charges on the credit card, screw mediaton -- you'll essentially be using his attorney in this arrangement. Feeling guilt about, or questioning the past is nice, but you have to take care of your own interests. It's probably time to seek out your own attorney.

When we're emtionally vulnerable, it's sometimes hard to see how our own long-term interests factor into a situation. I'm not suggesting that things have to get contentious or vindictive, it's just that finances are business. I'm sure you had to consult attorneys for some of the business deals you were involved in in the past, so try to look at the financial picture as taking care of business.

Wow. Sorry. I don't generally give "in-your-face" advice like this, but my former wife is a divorce attorney. That's what she would tell you, & I had to seriously run for cover during my divorce. It's not personal...it's just business.