I just thought I would update all of you who have been so kind enough to keep me in mind. I have been struggling, everything really started going downhill last Saturday and well from there things have kind of been bad when it comes to flashbacks and body memories. I also found out that I may have more complications to the surgery I had last year. So that is bringing up alot too.

I have decided I was going to write some letters this month to hopefully help myself in getting closure to some extent. I have decided I will continue to write these letters every year until I feel that closure is beginning. I have 3 of them wrote so far and have 12 momre to go.

I also am going to be starting the adult partial hospitalization program here this morning. I tried to start it a few weeks ago, but because there was a conflict of interest with one of the other people I couldn't go then. Then I decided I would just work with my ts but then I realized I did need the extra help and then they told me they weren't going to let me in. But now after seeing my primary physician, she wanted me to start the program. She even sees how much of a problem I have been having. My blood pressure has been very high, the bottom number again reaching 124, almost where it was before I was in the hospital a month ago. Which when I was in the hospital my blood pressure was normal, but it has slowly been creeping it's way back. I don't know what is going on.

I have also started a new painting and when I am finished I will post a picture of it. It is titled "The Beauty of Healing"

Thank you all for caring so much