Another day of olanzepine kicking in and saving me from dissociation.

I was interested in that it's used as a "Trip killer" when people are having a bad trip.

For me I have HPPD - So my bad trip.. Lasts forever.. in a way

Anyway, I want to feel more depressed for a moment to feel more emotions and know what exactly to do - Instead of just.. Feeling everything out in terms of hobbies and interests. What is the use of depression? Does it have benefits? I felt way more relaxed when I was moderately-severely depressed.

Now it's stepping into the insanity of the world where my brain is on fire.

I want to be in a different place. I did a lot today - I did what I could.. But I feel like I'm in hell. I smoked weed and it really helped my mind to relax and focus.. It used to give me full blown panic attacks.

I try to only limit to once a day but I've smoked three today.. Meh..

I'm dying of exhaustion. I quit phenibut for 2-3 days and doing good. I'm exhausted and stressed as hell I can't emphasize that enough.

I'm gonna see about applying for that job soon (My mom was too busy to introduce me to the owner of the restaurant). These days, not many people have a stable job.