The thing is there doesn’t have to be “more.” You find the the experience of a pelvic exam to be extremely awful and anxiety-provoking. Period.
It doesn’t all have to fit together neatly in your T’s head. She just has to live with not knowing everything and not everything making perfect sense. As we all do. It’s not her place to make suggestions like that IMO.
And for whatever it’s worth, that tongue experience sounds incredibly traumatic and I could see feeling very leery of having anyone put instruments in any orifice after that alone.