mindmechanic, I certainly am hearing your frustration and how difficult all of this is for you. I've been in multiple situations where I have been hurt by a therapist, and it's hard.
Your struggle with this is valid. I must state, however, in no uncertain terms that you are lucky that your therapist has not terminated you. What you said in the message may not have been intended to be threatening, but I believe that any reasonable therapist would have interpreted it that way. If I were your therapist's supervisor or consultant, I would have advised you to terminate, and frankly, if I were your therapist, I'm not even sure I would have been willing to terminate with you in person, which is what my code of ethics states to do. Imagine for a moment that you receive a text message like that, and you're not sure if the person who sent it is delusional, paranoid, having active hallucinations, etc. How would you feel knowing that the person who sent you that message is potentially mentally unstable? It's a text. She has no way of knowing what your state was when you sent it. And now with the technology that we have, it's so easy to get someone's address, car information, places they like to go in their free time, etc.

Based on some of the statements you made, it sounds like you are in a place where you are really struggling. In your last post you said that you don't think that you can abide by these new boundaries that your therapist has put into place. And by the way, your therapist is dead wrong in how she's handled this from the beginning. I think it's better to set firm boundaries in the beginning of therapy to avoid situations like this, and I intend to have disclosures about contact outside of session in my disclosures and in my informed consent. From what I've seen on this board, out of session contact never really leads to anything good and I think it should be used in only very specific situations. For instance, I text my therapist when I'm about to go into the hospital to alert him that I need to suspend sessions until further notice and that he should expect contact from the hospital once I am nearing discharge. Anyway, that was a bit of a ramble. The point that I wanted to make is that it sounds like your therapeutic needs and your therapist's needs are incongruent. Terminations suck, and I wouldn't wish them on anyone. I would implore you to start to seek out a new therapist and to talk about your needs for the therapeutic relationship in a phone consultation, even before an intake appointment. That way your not wasting your time with someone who isn't going to be a good fit for you.

I have other, more broad thoughts, but it's 3:30 in the morning, so I'll save them for a later time. I wish nothing but the best for you, mindmechanic.