So Sorry that things are being hard! i agree with the wise and wonderful TunedOut about seeing if there are any charities organizations near you. Life may seem really hard at times but Please do not give up. You deserve to feel Happy. Feel free to write to me or ask around to other people as well if you prefer it. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH You, @dainglady, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!