My T's and my relationship had felt off since the end of last year. She told me she was going through some health problems. Then she cancelled an appointment and went off sick. On her return I finally plucked up the courage to ask her about the perceived change and she said it was because she was on the defensive, trying to keep her health issues out of our sessions, but I had picked up on it anyway. She said she didn't know whether to be really honest with me and that if she was, we might not be able to continue working together, because she had brought 'her stuff' into the therapy, which was a no-no. She was quite clear that she didn't want me worrying about her and that our sessions if we continued, were to be about me.

We agreed that neither of us wanted to stop working together, so we'd continue and see how things went. Sounded fine in theory, I thought. But in practice, it's damned hard. Just me knowing that she's seriously unwell has changed the nature of the relationship. I already find myself self-censoring what I feel I can bring up with her. I'm worrying about her in between appointments and wondering how she is. I haven't told her any of this as the disclosure was only recent. I don't want to lose her as my T, but am wondering if I can really keep my feelings and concerns about her, out of the therapy sessions.