i am not sure if i'd go as far as call it a form of ptsd, Hopefully other people more knowledgeable about this will read this and Help you, but even though i have never experienced it or heard that much about it, i completely agree with the wise and wonderful seesaw, i don't find it hard to believe that someone may feel haunted by some past bad experiences! i'd suggest to try your best to control these feelings and to do your best at the work you have to do. Sorry if this post isn't really Helpful to you. i'd also suggest to see a therapist to work on this if you aren't already doing it. Please do not give up. You matter. Please do keep us updated. i Hope and Pray things will improve Soon. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @ZenZeta, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!