Quote:
Originally Posted by FluffyDinosaur
For me, it's like I can't really remember the extremes of my episodes once they're over. I could be severely depressed for a long time, and then at some point it lifts, and within a few days I start to think "there's no way I really felt like that" and I start to doubt that I really need meds and treatment. Same with mania. Then when another episode hits it's suddenly real again. It's weird. That's one of the reasons why I go back and forth with acceptance, because it's just so unreal in a way.
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This is exactly what my mom goes through. She’s been in denial for years and every time I tried to help her she refused help. It was only when depressed that she realized she needed me, but then when she was back to normal she was in denial that she had an illness. She always said we were crushing her happiness while she was in a manic episode and has refused medication. She’s in her 60s now. I studied BD, majored in psychology, taught it in high school, and when I was diagnosed I still didn’t believe it!! But when I hit the depression side it made sense. I’m only continuing medication, even though I feel normal again, because I have a 2 year old daughter. I don’t want to lose her if I ever go through that again. So I plan on sticking to it even though I feel like you too... like did I really go through that? Hmmm it wasn’t that bad, was it? I want to make sure I have more stable times than down times, so I don’t think I will ever go off my meds.