Mouse, I think it is a positive that you don't miss sessions after your T returns from vacation. It shows your level of commitment to therapy and getting better. I have heard that some clients react to their therapist's being away in a kind of retaliatory way by missing a session. It is an acting out of their feelings of being upset that their T went away ("I'll show you!"). You, on the other hand, seem able to discuss your feelings about your T going away face to face with your T, which is great! Because you do this, maybe you don't need to act out. Good for you. I think you are reacting in a mature, healthy way, and demonstrating good communication skills.

I also agree with what you wrote about the good enough mother and casting your T in that role. Sometimes those articles aren't the be all end all.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
the ablity to just relax into my recovery is an important part of recovery

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">I think it's kind of the same for me. I have relaxed into my therapeutic relationship with my T, despite knowing that one day it will end, that it is a paid relationship, that he has many other clients, that he goes home after his day and has his own very fulfilling and enriching life filled with family and friends. None of these things matter to me. This is my relationship with him, I know it is real but accept its limitations, and I am using it to heal.