So Sorry that things are being difficult! Please do not give up. i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters about trying traveling! Perhaps even some relaxation exercises mya help you at least a little bit. Try to focus a bit on your hobbies as well such as reading. Hopefully some it will Help! Please do write here as well if it helps you. i am available if you need to talk. Hope others will be as well. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @navyhood17, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!