Dear rise13eyond,

I can definitely empathize. Sorry you are struggling. I try not to feel guilty or at least try to moderate my guilt related to eating.

The brain is definitely involved in eating behavior even when there is nothing that could be linked to brain pathology.

I think we are only totally responsible for things we do wholeheartedly. Most people I know with eating struggles are divided inside. Part of them wants to eat and part of them doesn't.

In ethics, behavior which is conflicted and not wholehearted is not something a person is totally responsible for so responsibility is diminished and also appropriate guilt.

The idea of conflicted behavior is expressed in a little moral tale.

A ship captain is paid to transport cargo to a destination. To receive payment he needs to deliver that cargo on his ship. There are also some passengers on his ship. After a bad storm it becomes necessary to throw the cargo overboard into the sea in order to save the lives of the passengers.

Does the captain "want" to do this? Yes and no. He obviously doesn't "want" to lose all the money that will be lost if he gets rid of the cargo. But he "wants" to save the lives of the passengers and so he dumps the cargo in the ocean. His behavior is conflicted and divided and not wholehearted.

In ethics, lack of whole heartedness results in diminished responsibility and guilt.

Since you struggle with eating difficulties that you never asked for I do not believe you can be held totally responsible for your actions.

Not everything is will power. We are finite. Our knowledge, awareness, circumstances and freedom are limited. We are not all-knowing, all-powerful, all-perfect Infinite Beings. I hope you will be gentle on yourself and remember that you are just a finite being. You are free but not infinitely free.

Don't know if this is helpful or not. It helps me a lot in my struggles.

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen