I felt depressed on and off for twenty years. I didn't have a good childhood, but it wasn't horrible either. I have seen my current therapist for literally hundreds of sessions. I was well over a year into seeing her before I started to see small amounts of actual change in my way of dealing with the world and in how I feel about myself. Now I still have down days and small bouts of depression, but it's nothing like it used to be. I sometimes feel self conscious about how much therapy I've had, but I clearly benefit from it. My T says that it took thirty years to get to where I am, so it's not all going to change overnight. I think the stability of my relationship with her is a big part of the healing, so in some ways, maybe you've barely even gotten started since you haven't been able to stay with one therapist. I don't think you're asking for too much, and I absolutely think you should try somebody outside the VA who does longer-term work, if that's an option for you. Not everyone feels the crushing weight of despair all the time, and I suspect you won't feel it either if you can get access to more comprehensive, compassionate treatment.