I have always had the soldier on mentality as well. I mean there will always be disagreements even full on arguments, but that doesn’t mean fall out of love and quit. I was definitely a better person because of my wife, but this is a transgression I just cannot get past. I know I’ll never fully trust her, and now I attach her to the deepest pain I have ever felt, and that’s not a small thing for me to say. I’ve gone through losing my lower half to paralyzation, mother lied to me about who my dad is (she has no idea), my little brother dying, and many other heartbreaking things.