Having a freakout now about D being in in-person school after an article someone posted about how kids get COVID more often than they thought, even though they tend to have few, if any, symptoms. But that puts me and H at risk. Or what if it has long-term effects on D's health, even if she's asymptomatic? I'm trying to be calm. I know it's best for her and they're taking all reasonable precautions (like, all the rooms don't have windows, so can't open those in all classrooms). I hate how so much of this just feels like a crapshoot. Just seems, in some ways, totally random who gets it and who doesn't, who gets really sick and who doesn't, who has long-term consequences and who doesn't. Like we could do almost everything right and still get it and get really sick and maybe die. While other people are having huge unmasked gatherings all the time, and they're totally fine.

It's a case where, as you know and agree with, we aren't just sending D back to school because we want free childcare or we're tired of having her home. But I just worry that this is a case where her being on the spectrum will lead to more dire consequences for her and us, like in terms of physical health and life. Beyond what's already happened with mental health. And we've been trying to be safe, which led to her (and us) being more isolated than maybe what many other families and people did. I don't want that sacrifice to be for nothing, if like, she catches COVID in school next week, gives it to me, and I die. Or Bob does. Or has long-lasting effects. Or she has long-lasting heart damage and can't run and play.

Like, we've had a lot of struggles over the past year, plus the past 9 before that. Can we just have a pass on this, maybe? God, fate, Mother Nature, chance, whoever/whatever force is out there? I know many others have had it much worse, deaths, job loss, etc. But could we be cut some sort of break here? Please?