From the little you just shared here, it's understandable how you actually feel traumatized by what your wife got involved with. What you are battling is how you don't want to "feel" the discomfort you experienced in what you shared here and what you experienced with your wife. Also, let's face it, being in a wheelchair just brings out another feeling of helplessness. So you definitely have some challenges to work through.

It's important to be patient with this and while you experience different emotional challenges, commit to acknowledging them, but, not act on them and that can be hard. You have pointed out some important things that are important to pay attention to so you keep on track with working through this challenge and emotional challenges that come with it. Also, it IS important to remember that your wife regrets her choice and has admitted it was wrong and is trying to restore the relationship. We cannot change our mistakes, all we can do is learn from them and do our best to work on restoration of our lives. When I say that please know I am in no way saying that is easy, I know first hand it's a challenge. The more we live life, the more we will witness how people can make stupid mistakes. And YES decisions always have consequences and all events change our perception of life and our own sense of self. This is what happens all our lives AZ.

I myself experienced a sudden traumatic situation that affected me so badly that I developed PTSD. I never imagined having to struggle with this challenge or what it would mean and how it would affect me the way it has. And everyone I have met that developed it has said the very same thing, "why can't I just like I used to". And a lot depends on the person's history and how much trauma they experienced too. Some recover better than others, it's all depends on WHAT caused the condition to develop. Like you, I too have powered through a lot of challenges in my life, literally going all the way back through my childhood. I have listened to others share and say the same things. I learned that I actually was very resiliant, however, all my history predisposed me where if something traumatic enough happened I was susceptible to developing ptsd.

I sure have to figure out a lot of things and I have also had to see how all these things contributed to who I am as a person and to also understand myself in a different way too. Yet, this is what living life is about in general, we are always continuing to change and learn and we never really get to a place where we can say "I am certain" and finally have all the answers. The best we can do is accept that we simply do not have all the answers and life will always present us with challenges.